Claiming My Grandmotherhood, ProLife Style

When my son and his wife recently announced they are with child, I claimed my first-time grandmotherhood. So exciting! 

"But wait--that won't happen until after the baby is born."  Not so. 

1) Would we deny that Jesus's life on earth began at the Annunciation, when 

Angel Gabriel announced to Jesus's mother, Mary, that she was with child?  No. 

                                                            

2) Would we deny science's discovery and pictures of the sperm 

and egg uniting to initiate a new human being?  No.

                                                     

We therefore cannot deny that the life of every human being begins at the moment of conception. By His conception, that moment is consecrated for all of us. Science confirms it on the natural level.

I hereby hold to my claim: I am a first-time grandmother! 

+ St. Gerard, please pray for my pregnant daughter-in-law and our new baby! +

Source - Let There Be Life

Images 
- https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/prague-czech-republic-fresco-annunciation-church-kostel-svat%C3%A9ho-cyrila-metodeje-petr-maixner-october-134890726.jpg
- https://resize.hswstatic.com/w_907/gif/sperm-egg.jpg  

Edits

07/24/2020 - added "my pregnant daughter-in-law and" to St. Gerard prayers

So That's What We're Feeling When We Say the Baby Just Kicked...

And That's What We're Not Feeling When We Abort Our Babies.

Amazing MRI Video

Click here.

Video of In Utero 11 Week Old Child

Thank you to Lila Rose of Live Action for posting this video in Facebook. A picture says a thousand words.

video - https://www.facebook.com/lilagracerose/videos/10156228642978000/
image - https://www.pinterest.com/pin/548313323352992036/?lp=true

Enriching the ProLife Discussion About Babies

In a secular world like ours, it is challenging to be ProLife. So many ProChoicers seem to misunderstand the concept that a child is being murdered in every abortion. Or maybe it's that they understand the concept but deny it. 

What is denial? The action of declaring some truth to be untrue, or,

"Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms that we all use, pretending that an uncomfortable thing did not happen." - changingminds.org

"Denial...[is when] the individual recognizes or is conscious of the existence of the truth or fact but consciously refuses to accept it as such." - wikipedia.org

As Lisa Smiley says in her video, it doesn't matter. When a woman becomes pregnant, everyone asks how the baby is - from Day 1. Do you know the baby's sex yet? Is the baby kicking or moving around? What names are you considering for the baby? The baby. The baby. The baby. We use that term because it is a baby from Day 1, the moment of conception.

Pregnant women across the globe read and sing and play music to their baby in the womb. Why? Because inside her womb is a baby who is capable of internalizing knowledge.

I often sense a visceral tension when I am chatting about abortion with someone who is ProChoice. It is almost as if they know it's a baby in the womb, but they don't want to be found out about it. Instead, they direct the discussion to the mother's right to choose, which is a valid topic, but I recently heard a different talk by Lisa Smiley and she put it well. If a mother abuses her child, is that ok? No. If a mother drives down the street and decides to throw the baby out, is that ok? No. If a mother encloses her child in a small space and fills that space with cigarette smoke non-stop, is that ok? No. Then why is it ok for a mother to kill her unborn baby? It's not, especially when you think about it from the ethical and moral perspectives just discussed. 

ProLife is not about taking choices away from pregnant women. It is about giving pregnant women ethical and moral solutions to manage their crises. 




image - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/baby-growth-during-pregnancy-month-health-claps
11/6/16 - Edited 1st paragraph

Mourning My Loved Ones Lost to Abortion

Below is a post I wrote back in 2010. I re-post it now because my heart has been actively aching lately, for the aborted children I personally knew in some way before they were taken from us. 

For me, anti-abortion work (which falls under the ProLife umbrella) had deeper meaning when it dawned on me that I knew real-life babies who were involved. As I mention in my original post, a co-worker, two of my friends, and two of my close relatives faced crisis pregnancies and chose to have abortions. More specifically, they chose to end the lives of the babies they themselves helped create. Focusing on my relations with them, they chose to end the lives of children with whom I would have played and taken care of. They were children for whom I would have made and decorated birthday cakes. Our decisions impact others. In this case, I am left to process my grief and mourning rather than my joy and celebration. I know, I am not one of the parents, so my feelings are secondary, but secondary does not mean negligible or worthless.

Here is my original post.

A Repost of September 20, 2010

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I am not talking about mourning my loved ones who had a chance at life on earth.  I am talking about mourning the babies in my life who never had a chance to begin with.  More specifically, I am talking about the never-born babies of my coworker, my two friends, and two of my relatives.  They were all aborted at some point, and today, I miss them.

Why today, I do not know, but I do know my grief is real.  I was overwhelmed with it in Daily Mass this morning.  A vision flashed before me.  My "niece" and "nephew" and the other "children" were playing in a field, laughing.  Tears literally came to my eyes.  I will never get to know them, and they will never get to know me, or anyone else, even their very own parents. 

Abortion is often close to home, as it is with me.  That is because it is so prevalent and cuts across all boundaries in society, e.g. poor, rich, black, white, younger, older.  It is one of the biggest kept secrets.  Of course, the genders are not really known, but they were in my vision.  Girl, girl, boy, girl, boy.  God touched me and I wept because they were not with us.

This is one of the less talked about effects of abortion.  Mourning, I mean.  Mourning.  Mourning like Mary mourned at the foot of the cross when Jesus was taken down dead.  It does not matter that the child was never born and never had a body like we all have.  The mourning still occurs.  I am witness to it, and I am not even closest to these children.  I can only imagine what their parents experience.

I doubt that abortion clinics tell the young women and men that they will mourn the loss of their aborted one some day, or that their relatives will mourn the loss as well.  No.  The aborted babies are not considered people.  They are not considered flesh and blood.  They are inconveniences and money makers to the abortion clinic.  Their loss, no, their murder, is job security for the staff.

I hope God continues to bring these visions to me.  I hope He overwhelms me again and again with grief like this.  It keeps me in touch with the horror of abortion, and it keeps my ProLife conviction alive.  It also brings compassion in my heart for all those involved, directly or indirectly.

If you or someone you know is mourning the loss of an aborted child, consider Project Rachel.  There is hope after an abortion.  "It's normal to grieve a pregnancy loss, including the loss of a child by abortion. It can form a hole in one's heart, a hole so deep that sometimes it seems nothing can fill the emptiness."

Kathleen

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 image - https://thinkingonscripture.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/mourn-tears.jpg

Beautiful Womanhood

My older son is coming home to visit soon and my mind stepped back in time to when the Empty Nest Syndrome was ruling my roost. I was reminded of when he & his younger brother were steadily in college and not at home. My heart ached - and was elated for them as well. At different times, I experienced different layers of all that is associated with children flying the coop. This time, I reflected back to when I was pregnant. I reflected on the fact that I cannot be and never will be pregnant again. I have gone through menopause, and as many positive things there are about this phase of my life, I rue about what at times feels like a loss of my femininity. No more menstrual cycles, no more pregnancies, no more babies to rear, no more soccer games to attend.  

Many women embrace and are glad about those facts. I, however, still yearn for another child. I want to be vibrantly pregnant again. I want the chance to be less neurotic. In between, I want my menstrual cycle, not only because it signifies that I could get pregnant (God willing), but because it was integral to my womanhood. It provided a cadence to my female life. Without it, I have at times been at a loss about who I am. Of course, the loss has diminished with time, and with prayer and Jesus and the Catholic faith, I have been blessed with the opportunity to expand my development of the word womanhood into later stages of life. 

Given the fact that I was repulsed by and even afraid of my womanhood for so long in my younger years (see my conversion story), this is a miracle of sorts. I love being female. I love being a woman. I love men being men. I love that I can let men be men, unlike my pre-Catholic-conversion when I was angry and usually felt that women got short changed.

Perhaps if my marriage did not end up in divorce, and perhaps if my husband and I had ten+ children, my yearning to have more would have less pull on me. But maybe not. 

My mind will now step back into today where I can appreciate the depth and beauty of God's gift of reminiscing. He truly is amazing.

In JMJ+,

Kathleen

image - http://beautifulwomanhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/BW_logo.png

I Am The 51-Year-Old Who Wrote To The 14-Year-Old

Warning:  Graphic language in title of article

I read this article today:

I'm The 14-Year-Old Who Wrote The "Jesus Isn't A Dick So Keep Him Out of My Vagina" Sign In Texas And Was Labeled A "Whore" By Strangers Online

 

Then I wrote to the author:

 

Dear Tuesday,

You write, "I know someone who has had a few abortions. She now says that abortion is bad and she fights against a woman's right to choose." Listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.

As for the mother's right to choose, she has always had the right and always will -- to choose to engage in sex.  That is where the choice begins. She knows the consequences before she engages, and if she wants to be seen as a mature woman, she should either accept the consequences of her decision by giving birth to her baby if she becomes pregnant, or she should not engage in sex at all.

I am praying for you, Tuesday.  I am sure a lot of other people are too. I am hopeful that you will eventually have a conversion (hopefully before you have any abortions yourself) and realize the primary fight of ProLifers is for the baby's right to life.  The woman already has one.

Just remember that someone honored your right to life and brought you to where you are today.  Would you really want to go back in time and ask your mother to consider aborting you? Peace.

image - http://www.mdrtl.org/aboutus.html

ProLife Alternatives to In Vitro Fertilization

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When a couple has trouble conceiving a child, the most common thing they and their doctors turn to is in vitro fertilization (IVF).  Unfortunately IVF goes against the teachings of the Catholic Church, so Catholics do not have that as an option.  See this previous blog entry.  

In an attempt to help and alleviate the pain most infertile couples experience, some Catholic doctors are working hard to provide acceptable alternatives to IVF, and the Knights of Columbus want people to know about it.  Here are some things they share in a recent article regarding Good Medicine:

"Thankfully, there are medical options that respect human dignity when facing the problem of infertility. Throughout North America, there are physicians whose way of viewing married couples and the gift of new life causes them to practice medicine differently. These doctors are providing successful fertility care that is offering real hope and healing."

"Dr. Anne Mielnik, the director and co-founder of Gianna, a Catholic health care center in New York City, said, 'In the area of attacks on human life, such as contraception and abortion, it is doctors who are providing these things. I believe it is doctors who must provide effective and fruitful alternatives.'"

"The couples who see doctors such as Mielnik and Vera are grateful for their holistic, pro-life perspective. Rather than simply applying a technological solution to the problem of infertility, the care provided by clinics such as Gianna attempts to be a truly human, compassionate response. This includes accompanying the couple in their suffering and allowing them to express their faith in the context of treatment. Furthermore, patient care does not end if a couple cannot conceive. In this situation, doctors help the couple transition to mourning and grief."

Full article - Catholic physicians work to provide life-giving alternatives to reproductive technologies


Please pass it on.  Thanks, Kathleen
  
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image - http://baystatehealth.com/Baystate/Main+Nav/Clinical+Services/Departments/Obstetrics+%26+Gynecology/Reproductive+Medicine,+Fertility+and+Surgery/Infertility
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In Vitro Fertilization and the Catholic Church

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At the end of my November 5 entry, Nobel Prize For Medicine Went To Robert G. Edwards For IVF, I said I would talk about the Church's teachings regarding In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) in a future entry.  This is that entry.

Basically, IVF goes against the Church's beliefs and teachings about life, marriage, the conjugal act and the procreation of children.  Here are some excerpts from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

1652 "By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory."

Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: "It is not good that man should be alone," and "from the beginning [he] made them male and female"; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: "Be fruitful and multiply." Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.

The Church is clearly pro-children, but it is not pro-anything-goes when it comes to conceiving them.  See the next excerpt.

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children." "Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses' union . . . . Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."

Because the Church believes what She believes about life, marriage, the conjugal act and the procreation of children, it makes sense that She would be opposed to IVF, which is a process that also includes letting some embryos die or killing them directly.
 
Many people, including many many Catholics, are not aware of these teachings.  Unfortunately, it is a topic that is hardly preached about on Sundays and I have never seen literature about the Church's stance on this readily available.  Adult catechesis programs would help, but they are non-existent in this area, at least that I know of.
 
Of course, in the secular world, this is another example of the Catholic Church being behind the times, but I think of it as another example of the Catholic Church being wise beyond her years.  This somewhat long and technical document reflects that - DONUM VITAE


For more general information, see these informative articles:

1) The moral status of in vitro fertilization (IVF) Biology and method by John B. Shea, MD FRCP, 2003, Catholic Insight.  The information is still current.

2) IVF and the Catholic Couple by Sheila Diamond

3) IVF and Catholic Teaching by Rev. Fr Clement Mary, C.SS.R.

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image - http://blogs.reuters.com/faithworld/2008/12/12/vatican-reaffirms-stand-against-ivf-designer-babies-cloning/
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Nobel Prize For Medicine Went To Robert G. Edwards For IVF

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IVF stands for In Vitro Fertilization, as in "test tube baby", although it's actually done in something more like a petri dish.  In IVF, the egg and sperm (actually several eggs with several sperms) are manually combined in a laboratory dish. When the combination succeeds, the embryo is then transferred and manually placed in a woman's uterus.  If the transfer is successful, the women becomes pregnant, and if the pregnancy goes well, a baby is eventually born.

It sounds straight forward, but anyone who has been through it will tell you it is an arduous process, involving the woman taking fertility medication, her eggs being montiored and collected - apart from the man, the man being sexually stimulated so he can ejaculate and his sperm can be collected - apart from the woman, and then the attempt to combine the eggs and sperm in a laboratory dish.  Ultrasounds and blood tests are involved.  Timing is critical.  When one attempt fails, the couple has to try again, and usually again, and again.

The process sounds lonely and sterile to me, but compared to being childless for the rest of one's life, I can see that IVF would be attractive to many couples, including Catholic couples.  The problem is that IVF goes against natural law and Catholic teachings on procreation.  It is considered to be a grave evil and not a viable solution to the problem of infertility.

So not everyone is happy about the Nobel Prize for Medicine going to Robert G. Edwards for IVF back in October.  I will discuss the Church's teachings in one of my next entries.  Please stay tuned.


Peace,
Kathleen

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image - http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/ivf.html
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Human Conception - The Real Thing

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Ed Roames, an international spokesperson for the philosophy of abundance and achievement, recently posted The Authentic History of You on his Facebook page.  Here is an excerpt.

"When you were conceived, your mother contributed one important living cell to the process. Your father, on the other hand, contributed over four hundred million living cells.

Some of the cells from your father just sat and did nothing. Some of them just went around in circles. Some wandered about with no direction. Some made a good start, but quit before they reached success. Still, millions raced to the goal.

But only one living cell was fast enough. Only one living cell was strong enough to fight off all its competitors and win. That one winning cell united with the cell from your mother and became you.

You are not an accident. You are, at your core, that little champion who fought to be born and won. You are unique and valuable.

At your conception, you received a genetic code that is yours and yours alone. Your personal genetic code – your DNA - determined your gender [sex], your skin color, your eye color, your hair color, your body shape, and your predispositions. All this was settled in the victory of conception that created you."


Related Video Clips & Articles

Life's Greatest Miracle by NOVA - Click Here
(Note: This program is rated TV-14,S. Viewer discretion is advised.)

Companion Web Site to Life's Greatest Miracle by NOVA - Click Here

The Miracle of Life by NOVA - Click Here

The Miracle of Life [Choose Life] by HyperPixelsMedia - Click Here

Human Personhood Begins at Conception by Peter Kreeft - Click Here


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image - http://www.fertilityc.com/assets/images/fertility_conception.jpg

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It's Not Just A Zygote

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Some time ago, a conversation between my non-believing, teenage son and I evolved into the topic of abortion.  Our views are quite different, so we both stiffened a bit as we ventured forth.
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I was relieved to know that my son agreed with my views on partial-birth abortion.  It is horrific and should not be performed under any circumstances.  Then we moved onto early-term abortion, and  things were different.  
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My son sneered at me and said, "What? You don't still believe that, do you? I mean, Mom, it's just a zygote. That early on in the pregnancy, it doesn't matter."
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"Just a zygote?" I retorted. "That zygote is the only thing the baby evolves from, isn't it?"
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"Yea..." he said, unprepared for my next reply.
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"So you mean," I intoned a question, "that if I decided to get rid of that zygote that you came from, you wouldn't have cared? It wouldn't have mattered? I could have just made that decision to throw that zygote away, and you wouldn't be here with us today?"
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"No, Mom, that's different!" His response startled me. He was always so scientific, but this response was emotional. I was actually relieved, and I took advantage of the situation.
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"That's different?!" I asked. "How is that different? It's the same scientific scenario that you presented, except that it's you instead of a yet-to-be-born or yet-to-be-named baby."
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My son was speechless. I was thrilled. I made some inroads on his flippant views about abortion. With the help of the Holy Spirit, a seed had been planted. He got the zygote-equals-realperson connection.  That is all I could accomplish for that day, but what an accomplishment it was.
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St. Monica, Mary, and St. Augustine, please intercede for him.

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image - http://www.healthofchildren.com/images/gech_0001_0003_0_img0218.jpg
This is a revision of an entry from my first blog.
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