What The Catholic Church Teaches About Divorce & Annulments

A Casual But Important Conversation
On The Catholic Talk Show

"In this episode, you will learn about:

• What does the Bible actually say about Divorce?
• Can a Catholic actually get a divorce?
• What is the difference between divorces & annulments?
• Can divorced Catholics receive Holy Communion?
• What reasons allows a person to get an annulment?
• What impact is divorce having on society and the Church?
• and much more"

image - https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjN9Oikib3mAhUOh-AKHX1gBLsQjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D95d3_1Ae6BU&psig=AOvVaw2vRQ4f20UUJ8BJYQjWycUz&ust=1576685466942905

Canonization of Louis and Zelie Martin - and Italian priest Fr. Vincent Grossi and Sister Mary of the Immaculate Conception

From the Manchester, NH, Diocese:

Today [October 18, 2015], Pope Francis will canonize, Louis and Zelie Martin, the parents of St. Therese of Lisieux. They are the first married couple who were not martyrs to be canonized. Their faithful and lifelong witness to being Christian was rooted in relying on God's grace and engaging in the works of mercy.  http://www.catholicnh.org/faith/features/canonization-louis-zelie-martin/

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As seen in the image above, Louis and Zelie had several other children, many of whom were called to the religious life. To learn more, go to:

Pope officially paves the way for Saint Therese's parents to be canonized

                                         

Pope canonizes first married couple in modern times

Pope Francis: Four new saints point to humility - not worldly power

image - http://www.catholicnh.org/faith/features/canonization-louis-zelie-martin/

Dating and Marriage, They Are Related

Some people in my life have kidded me about my keeping dating intimately linked to marriage, i.e., "Is this person I am going out with the one God has intended for me?"  In my mind, if I am not asking that question of every possible suitor, dating loses its purpose, at least the chaste purpose I believe in. (Thank you Jesus.)

This approach has made sense to me, and now, Lisa Duffy at CatholicMatch, has written an insightful article about the topic.

Should Every Date Be Focused On Marriage?


Enjoy!
Kathleen



image - http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/hua_hsu/the%20dating%20game%20615.jpg

Paul Murano, A Breath of Fresh Air

Just read his latest article about sex and death:

Two Women, One Trend: A reflection of our culture today

http://valleypatriot.com/two-women-one-trend-a-reflection-of-our-culture-today/

image - http://glitterbuggy.blogspot.com/2010/08/day-20-breath-of-fresh-air.html

Waiting For Marriage

All of Me: 3 Reasons Why I’m Waiting for Marriage

By Jackie Francois | March 19, 2013

A good read.  http://lifeteen.com/all-of-me-reasons-waiting-for-marriage/

I am always encouraged to hear about people developing the virtue of chastity before marriage.  It includes all the wonderful practices of respect, admiration, restraint, patience, honoring the dignity of the other person.  

If people adhere to it before marriage, they will be more likely to adhere to it during marriage.  Yes, chastity is needed during marriage, too.




image - https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHU0GRCoZJUd1wvhEuEkz9e-Mg7aiQ9ewGvl7ugbmmREjkhzVJ1B8RsEcmJco2IU9jhqDBux8MO4PUsgkS5IZwloogH-IEoSsUiJ4YEL26jp73OsmLKY9bciU4tp1aAXM6V_PO2HbE4V11/s1600/SEX-BEFORE-MARRIAGE.jpg

Marriage and the Good of Society: A Pastoral Statement by the Bishops of Washington State

The Betrothal of Mary to Joseph

The Washington State Catholic Conference, which represents the Catholic bishops of Washington State, courageously issued this pastoral statement about marriage today.  Its title is Marriage and the Good of Society.  Here are some excerpts.

"Marriage is the foundational unit of human society, because it exists for the good of husband and wife and the strengthening of their unique, permanent, and faithful bond of love. In addition, because human sexuality orders the transmission of human life through man and woman, children “are part of the glory of marriage,” as St. Augustine wrote many centuries ago. Marriage is founded on sexual difference and ordered toward the fulfillment of husband and wife and procreation and rearing of children. This basic understanding of marriage and family is 'built in' to the very nature of man and woman. No matter how well-intentioned, the effort to redefine marriage in civil law to include people of the same sex will not serve the good of society because it would detach marriage from its essential character and purpose."

"..we reaffirm the need to recognize and defend the rights of all people. However, redefining marriage as a means of dealing with important issues of equality and respect for persons with same-sex attraction will not achieve this goal and would overturn centuries of common law."

Solid Catholic teachings.  How refreshing, especially given its public nature.  Read the entire article here   And while you are there, consider browsing some of the other posts in that blog.



image - http://www.biblewalks.com/Photos71/StJoseph20.jpg

I Choose To Be Optimistic About Marriage

Today, a gentleman I know told me he and his wife will soon be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.  I congratulated him and I said, "You know, not a lot of people can say that these days."  That's the unfortunate truth.

I looked at him, and from my heart I said, "Good for you."  I truly cherish long-term anniversary announcements, maybe because my marriage only made it to eleven years, maybe because a lot of couples aren't even making it that far, and maybe because I have come to treasure marriage after I learned so much about it during my divorce and then during my annulment and then during the ongoing forgiveness and reconciliation that occurred between my ex-husband and me as we reared our children from separate households and simply grew softer with time.

I pray that  that men and women will eventually wake up to the mayhem which they have caused counter to the holy institution and Sacrament of marriage these years, and I pray that we will return to a society in which marriage is the bedrock.  If we can't do that, then I hope we come to a society in which those of us who believe marriage is the cornerstone of our existence, are allowed to freely embrace that lifestyle.

I not only pray for these things, I pray for these things with the hope of the Risen Christ.

Congratulations Jack!!


image - http://www.natcom.org/CommCurrentsIssue.aspx?volume=6&issue=1

A Christmas Poem About the Reality of Abortion and Artificial Contraception

 

Lament of St. Nicholas by Paul Murano
('Twas the Week Before Christmas - in Contemporary America)


‘Twas the week before Christmas and throughout heaven above

the angels and saints were proclaiming God's love

“Nicholas”, called Jesus, “Faithful servant on earth

it's time for children to celebrate my birth

Go on and inspire the parents of these

to all of their hearts I now give you the keys”

Yes Lord! cried Nicolas with the greatest of joys

I love helping out with their clothes and their toys

But most of all Lord what I work for these days

is leading their minds back to you and your ways

So he started his mission, this jolly ol’ soul,

to the homes of God's children, the young and the old

The trees were in place and the candy canes hung

but he stared at the fireplace as carols were sung

Something's wrong! said the saint, as it paused his delight

Less than half of the stockings are hanging this night!

I see cars, DVR's, home computers, and more

but I hear not the laughter that I heard once before!

So he checked his list twice but it just didn't jive

there were many more children that were meant to be alive

Reality of Contraception & Abortion

Dear Lord, cried St. Nicholas with a voice of surprise

Many children are missing! as the tears filled his eyes

Oh Nicholas my servant, I thought that you knew

in many heart$$ green has replaced pink and blue

And Nicholas, said Jesus with a sad solemn voice

in the past 40 years this is what they've called "choice"

Then He took the saint's list and divided it thrice

and revealed the true meaning of naughty and nice:

This first group has children I could never create

my people used barriers and drugs with their mate

The second are the children that had never been born

from the wombs of their mothers they were taken and torn

And the third group are now all the children on earth

they're the ones that did make it through conception and birth

Oh Jesus I'm sorry! ol' St. Nicholas cried

This shouldn't be happening - they forgot why You died!

Help me to show them how to be brave

like the poor Virgin Mary giving birth in a cave!

I Am the hope many don't know, Jesus said

so go forth dear St. Nicholas – my light you must spread

'Twas the week before Christmas and St. Nicholas did pray:

Merry Christmas to all ... and to all a new day!

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Photo and color scheme were added by me.


image - http://dontbuytheabortionlie.blogspot.com/2011/02/contraception-is-not-solution.html

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Sean Cardinal O'Malley, Archbishop Of Boston, Blogs About Homosexuality

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Cardinal Seán O'Malley

Divine Providence is at hand.  Sean Patrick Cardinal O'Malley, O.F.M. Cap. Archbishop of Boston, Massachusetts, just blogged about some of the same things I did in Part 2 of my series, Separating The Sin From The Sinner - and on the same day.  :-)

Here are some excerpts:

"I want to begin this week addressing a very important issue. [emphasis mine]

Some say that the Catholic Church hates people with same-sex attractions. This is not true. In fact, if there are any members of the Church who hate people because of their sexual orientation, they need to go to confession..."

"As Catholics, we must oppose the hatred and rejection of homosexual persons that exists in our society. We do not want them to be the object of discrimination or violence. We believe, however, that God’s law is written in our hearts [natural law] and that to lead a fully human life we need to embrace His commandments."

"The Church’s efforts to defend the institution of marriage has been interpreted by some as an indication of the Church’s hostility toward homosexual persons. The way that the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts framed the issue is unfavorable to Catholics or others who do not oppose anyone, but rather support an institution which is the cornerstone of society."

"It is encouraging that a number of Catholics who are homosexuals have expressed to me their conviction that marriage between a man and a woman is important for children and therefore for society." 


"Sometimes we are told: 'If you do not accept my behavior, you do not love me.' In reality we must communicate the exact opposite: 'Because we love you, we cannot accept your behavior.'”


It is worth reading his blog post in its entirety.

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images - http://www.cardinalseansblog.org/
http://www.imarksweb.net/642/written-on-the-heart-the-case-for-natural-law
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Separating The Sin From The Sinner - Part 1

This idea is a cornerstone to Catholicism, as well as to other religions.  It is a basic tenet we all need to not only know, but know how to carry out, in order to live at peace with each other and with each others' sinfulness.  You may have heard it expressed this way as well, "Hate the sin, love the sinner."  The behavior/sin has to be separated out from the person/sinner.  It's part of forgiveness.

So here I am.  A younger relative of mine recently moved in with her boyfriend.  It's not the first time they have slept together under the same roof, in the same room, in the same bed.  They've done it when they visited each other in the past.  Now, though, they are doing it uninterruptedly, renting a place together, food shopping together, house decorating together, and even writing notes from "us".  Are you married or aren't you?   It is much more uncomfortable than I expected.

I have had thoughts of not wanting to visit them.  I have also had thoughts of asking them when they are going to stop pretending to be married, and actually get married.  Never mind the thoughts about all the fornicating going on, and the use of artificial contraception. 

How do I love the two of them in this instance?  How do I hate their cohabitating, fornicating and contracepting, while I love the two persons involved?  It is not easy.  Separate the sin from the sinner.  Hate the sin, love the sinner.  It sounds so easy, but those suggestions are packed with challenges I could never have foreseen.

I brought them a bag of groceries.  Am I illicit in their sin?  I was invited to stay with them a couple days.  I'd like to save money, so it is tempting, but I can't do that.  They may be pretending they are married, but I can't pretend.  I got a note the other day, from the both of them.  Since when did he start writing to me?  I know they are ignorant about the impact their pretending to play house has on others, but I can't help my interior reactions of frustration, of fear (the divorce rate for couples who live together before getting married is higher than an already high rate), of anger (if they get pregnant, will they abort the baby?), and of humility (I can't control the world).

Hate the sin, love the sinner.  Sounds easy, but when it is face to face in your life in a serious way, it is challenging.  I don't know exactly how I will handle each situation that arises.  Honesty with compassion is the modus operandi I strive for, but since I am a sinner, too, I am sure I will have to frequent the confessional myself.

Kathleen

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image - http://www.zazzle.com/hate_the_sin_love_the_sinner_mk_gandhi_mug-168973483000872939
*Some details have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.
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Sex Talk Part II [Sex Within Marriage]

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Part I of this series can be found here.
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Copyright (c) 2010 originally published in The Valley Patriot, reprinted with permission. I added the pictures.

So, You Want to Have Sex? Part II
By Kathleen Laplante

So, you want to have sex, but this time you are a married woman.
Good. Sex belongs in marriage.Copyright (c) 2010 originally published in The Valley Patriot, reprinted with permission. I added the pictures.

Isn’t adultery legal in some states? 
It may be legal in some states, but it’s not moral in any of them. It’s a reflection of your inability to control your animal instincts. So, no extramarital affairs, not even in fantasies.

How do you stay true to your husband?
Learn what marriage is really about. For instance, you probably don’t know that chastity is something to be practiced in marriage. People think it’s just for nuns and single women, but married couples must practice chastity too.

What is chastity?
It is the virtue of controlling the indulgence of one’s sexual appetite. It’s not about being prudish. It’s about being prudent, i.e. being wise and judicious in the handling of your sexuality. For women, chastity reflects femininity and courage, which makes sense, since it takes a real lady to tame her sexual desires - and I don’t mean repress them. I mean act on them in moderation with consideration for your husband and children.

So where does pleasure come in?
Let’s clear up a common misunderstanding. Did you know the Catholic Church is an advocate for sexual pleasure between a wife and husband?

No kidding. She teaches that, “sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself…established that…spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit…the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment…At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.” [Catechism of the Catholic Church 2362, i.e. CCC 2362]]

She goes on to say that “the acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.” [CCC 2362]

So when you want to have sex with your husband, ask yourself if it’s for your pleasure or his too. If it’s just for yours, you might as well let a neighbor borrow him, because you are reducing him to an instrument of sexual pleasure. If it’s for both of you, then you won’t be objectifying your husband, and dignity will be the catchword of the day.

Can we go back to noble and honorable, and joy and gratitude mentioned above?
Definitely. One thing we can say is that nobility and honor, joy and gratitude are worth striving for. A couple, however, cannot do that when one or both of them are selfishly seeking pleasure and instant gratification for themselves.

Another impediment to nobility, honor, joy and gratitude is artificial contraception.

Contraception?!
Yes. And I’ll bet you and your husband are using it. There are all kinds of negative consequences from it.

It can’t be that bad?
It is. The Pill’s side effects result in many women struggling with mood swings, weight gain, and irritability. Companies that make birth control pills, the FDA, the World Health Organization and the Mayo Clinic all say the (combined estrogen-progestin) Pill increases a woman’s risk of breast, cervix and liver cancer, i.e. more Pills, more pink ribbons.

The Pill is also known to act as an abortifacient. Instead of preventing pregnancy, it allows conception to occur, but because it also damages the lining of the womb, the fertilized ovum, i.e. the new baby, cannot implant itself and dies. The woman essentially gives herself an abortion.

Contraception goes against natural law.

With a condom, a couple prevents the formation of a baby, which, remember, is a good and natural outcome of sexual intercourse, and puts up a barrier to the couple’s intimate union and bonding. They are supposed to be making love, fully giving themselves to one another, but they have to get their ‘barriers’ in place first (J. E. Smith, 2000). It is unnatural and is like the woman saying, “I love you, I want to give myself to you and I want to receive you – BUT.” “But I don’t want your fertility or your manliness or your sperm.”

Talk about rejection at its most basic level.

With a condom, the unitive aspect is severed from the procreative aspect of the marital act, and the couple is no longer making love. Instead, they are deceiving each other while avoiding and sometimes killing babies.

Other negative consequences include all the ones since artificial/unnatural birth control became rampant: Rises in premarital sex, unwanted babies (no contraception is 100% effective), abortions, out-of-wedlock births and people unprepared for parenthood. With all types of artificial birth control, couples are playing Russian roulette, just playing the odds, not knowing if they will get hit with the one bullet in the gun, so to speak. Many clients at crisis pregnancy centers will vouch that they got hit.

There is no getting around having sex without having to think about being a parent. Artificial/unnatural contraception goes against natural law, and what we know to be true in our hearts.

If no contraception, then what?
Accept responsibility for regulating births by learning things like NaPro Technology (Natural Procreative Technology). NaPro is one method of natural family planning that uses the Creighton Model FertilityCare System. It is a holistic, non-contraceptive method of avoiding becoming pregnant, while being open to new life if it does come along, or oppositely, trying to become pregnant.

“These two meanings…of marriage [the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life] cannot be separated without altering the couple's spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.” [CCC 2363] Children are the “supreme gift of marriage” [CCC 2378] and to be open to new life is an inherent responsibility and joy of it.

NaPro Technology Banner

What else?
NaPro Technology monitors and maintains a woman’s reproductive and gynecological health, so there are great side benefits.

Don’t you mean side effects?
No, I mean side benefits. This natural family planning method helps many women who suffer from PMS. It helps many couples overcome infertility problems, or at least deal with them better. And, it improves "S-P-I-C-E", which is the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Communicative and Emotional aspects of a relationship.

What about your husband?
This is all true for men too.
_______________________________________

Kathleen Laplante is a freelance writer, editor and baker.

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images - http://www.eurweb.com/?attachment_id=74926
http://www.creightonmodel.com/intercourse.htm
http://dontbuytheabortionlie.blogspot.com/2011/02/contraception-is-not-solution.html
http://www.naprotechnology.com/index.html
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So, You Want to Have Sex?

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Earlier this month, I wrote an article entitled, "So, You Want to Have Sex? ... and you want to have it before you are married". (go to p. 27)  I will reprint it in my blog next month, but until then, I hope you take a look at it in its original print.  I encourage you to use it as a springboard in your own discussions and work.

I am now writing my next article and am excited about it.  It is coming along better than I expected.  It will be called something like, "So, You're Married and You Want to Have Sex?" with mentions of adultery, procreation, union, Planned Parenthood, contraception, making your wife an instrument for your sexual pleasure, NaPro Technology and S-P-I-C-E, the Catholic Church wanting married couples to experience pleasure from the marital act, and more.

Stay tuned.  :-)
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image - http://www.creightonmodel.com/intercourse.htm
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Can You Really Have Your Cake And Eat It Too?

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When it comes to lying, cheating and stealing, adultery and contraception, I think not.

I am reminded of a cake I presented in my first blog, Promoting Life As A Roman Catholic.

It reflects the demise of weddings and marriage in our society. It is called a Divorce Cake.  It's quite creative and playful, but in the end, it is sad.  There is a copyright on the photo now, so you'll have to go to the web site. It's the first cake presented, the gun fight one, which splits off into two directions.

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_aug2006/DivorceCake.htm

I pray that we find a way to bring those offshoots back together, in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

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As an aside:  I am taking a cake decorating class.  Here is the first one I did.  It was for my older son.  :-)

I need work with centering and symmetry, but I like it.

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image - mine!
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Upcoming Conference About The Impact Of The Pill

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This is an historic one day conference sponsored by HLI (Human Life International) America, an organization whose task is to expose the link between the use of contraception and the increase in the number of abortions.  Registration is open to the public.

Friday, December 3, 2010

8am to 5pm

Washington, DC

Speakers include a spectrum of well-known professionals who will discuss the medical and cultural impact since The Pill launched fifty years ago.

Jenn Giroux, RN
- Medical impact of patients relative to The Pill

Prof. Janet Smith
- Cultural impact of The Pill and its effects on dating and the family

Dr. Theresa Deischer
- Frtilization of embryos used for research, the commercialization of children and stem cell research

Dr. Angela Lanfranchi
- Medical and clinical evidence between The Pill and increased breast cancer in young woman

Phill Kline
- Legal implications of The Pill as it relates to minors

Dr. John Bruchalski
-  Impact of The Pill on the practice of medicine and woman

Brian J. Gail
- Cultural, spiritual and demographical impact on society and the individual

Patricia Bainbridge
-  Forces Behind The Pill: Then and Now

For more detailed information, click here.

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image - http://50yearsofthepill.eventbrite.com/
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Sex & Pleasure In The Catholic Church

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Contrary to popular belief, the Catholic Church holds sex and pleasure in high esteem.  Here, listen to Her.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2362 The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude. Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:  The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment . They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.

1660 The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament.

2366 Fecundity (ability to produce offspring) is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is "on the side of life," teaches that "it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life."

"This particular doctrine, expounded on numerous occasions by the Magisterium, is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act."


How beautiful!

Within the confines of marriage, it is clear that the Church is much more open and encouraging about sex and pleasure than most people think.  If, however, you are thinking about premarital and extramarital affairs, then these statements do not apply, because the Church believes that these situations go against God's will and are therefore immoral. 

Now you are probably back to thinking the Church is prudish.  Not so, I would argue, as this statement from http://www.theologyofthebody.net/ sums up well:

          "When it comes to sex outside the marriage covenant,
           and the use of artificial contraception, in or out of the
           marriage covenant, the Roman Catholic Church is not
           prudish - She is prudent."


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image - http://images.veer.com/IMG/PIMG/FAN/FAN1004949_P.JPG
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