March 13, 2017

The Wound of Misunderstanding

Sad. That's how I feel. I wish I had the analogy I have now, when I went out for dinner and a walk with a woman I know. We talked about marriage and divorce and families and children. She struggled when I told her I had severe postpartum and major depression (Is any depression not severe?) when my sons were younger, such that I let their Dad be the primary caretaker when we got divorced. (Today they are grown and on their own.) She asked if I ever regretted my decision.

At the time, the question felt in-congruent, but I couldn't find the words to discuss it with her. Time has brought me insight. Regret? No, I didn't and don't regret my decision in the sense that I wished I never made it or I thought I was wrong for having made it. I knew it was the best arrangement for my sons. I did grieve however, for the lost time we could have had if I were healthier back then. I still feel it today at times. The emotional "I wish it could be different [for all of us]," but when I return to the rational version of that, it helps keep me grounded.

The woman with whom I was walking asked me if I had to do it all over again, would I make the same decision. I think my answer was hard for her to hear. She is a very protective and high energy type of Mom. My answer to her question was, "Yes, if everything was the same, and I was battling major depression such that I was incapacitated to take care of even myself - and my former husband was reliable, loving, caring, present, and put our children first, and did a wonderful job to include me in our sons' lives, like my former husband did - I would do it all over again."

I was incapacitated in ways that still bring tears to my eyes. Not being able to care for my sons due to major depression is like not being able to care for one's children due to cancer and undergoing the debilitating procedure of chemotherapy. It just can't be done without some level of neglect occurring, and I wish I could have conveyed that to this woman. Unfortunately, I think she left our visit judging me for what she thought was my choice to harm my sons by not choosing to let their Dad be the primary custodial parent. If only I knew the cancer analogy at the time.


I didn't give up everything in the divorce. I maintained and stayed responsible for the joint legal and physical custody I signed up for. My former husband and I lived quite a distance from each other, such that our set up was very similar to one parent having primary custody. Naturally, most people would assume it is the mother who has that. In this day of diversity and equal rights. one would think I would not have experienced judgment by others, but that's not true. Thankfully, more people have comforted and consoled me in my situation than have case me aside. They gave me room to grow and to heal and to internalize everything. Many professionals were also tremendous sources of help. I cannot thank them enough for having gone beyond the call of duty over the years.

So no, I do not regret my decisions, but I certainly grieve the losses associated with them.

Thankfully, Jesus is the ultimate Consoler, Advocate, and Judger, who is available to us all. If I knew about joining my suffering, and to the extent I could, joining the suffering of my children and former husband, to His salvific suffering on the Cross, I would have gone to him in prayer for that. Now I do go, and I carry any residual forward.

You can go too. Besides, what better use is there for one's suffering?



image - https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/74/bb/8d/74bb8d50862e65f851a281c097445681.jpg
- http://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2015/12/05/635849376879601291-424020726_depression.jpg





December 10, 2016

Reality of Abortion & Artificial Contraception

I reprint this poem every Christmas.  It's worth some solemn meditation.

Lament of St. Nicholas by Paul Murano
('Twas the Week Before Christmas - in Contemporary America)


Twas the week before Christmas and throughout heaven above
the angels and saints were proclaiming God's love

Nicholascalled Jesus, Faithful servant on earth
it's time for children to celebrate my birth
Go on and inspire the parents of these
to all of their hearts I now give you the keys

Yes Lord! cried Nicolas with the greatest of joys
I love helping out with their clothes and their toys
But most of all Lord what I work for these days
is leading their minds back to you and your ways

So he started his mission, this jolly ol’ soul,
to the homes of God's children, the young and the old
The trees were in place and the candy canes hung
but he stared at the fireplace as carols were sung

Something's wrong! said the saint, as it paused his delight
Less than half of the stockings are hanging this night!

I see cars, DVR's, home computers, and more
but I hear not the laughter that I heard once before!

So he checked his list twice but it just didn't jive
there were many more children that were meant to be alive

Reality of Contraception & Abortion
Dear Lord, cried St. Nicholas with a voice of surprise
Many children are missing! as the tears filled his eyes

Oh Nicholas my servant, I thought that you knew
in many heart$$ green has replaced pink and blue

And Nicholas, said Jesus with a sad solemn voice

in the past 40 years this is what they've called "choice"

Then He took the saint's list and divided it thrice
and revealed the true meaning of naughty and nice:

This first group has children I could never create
my people used barriers and drugs with their mate
The second are the children that had never been born
from the wombs of their mothers they were taken and torn
And the third group are now all the children on earth
they're the ones that did make it through conception and birth

Oh Jesus I'm sorry! ol' St. Nicholas cried

This shouldn't be happening - they forgot why You died!

Help me to show them how to be brave

like the poor Virgin Mary giving birth in a cave!

I Am the hope many don't know, Jesus said
so go forth dear St. Nicholas – my light you must spread

'Twas the week before Christmas and St. Nicholas did pray:
Merry Christmas to all ... and to all a new day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo and color scheme were added by me.
This is a reprint from 2013.


image - http://dontbuytheabortionlie.blogspot.com/2011/02/contraception-is-not-solution.html


November 03, 2016

Enriching the ProLife Discussion About Babies


In a secular world like ours, it is challenging to be ProLife. So many ProChoicers seem to misunderstand the concept that a child is being murdered in every abortion. Or maybe it's that they understand the concept but deny it. 

What is denial? The action of declaring some truth to be untrue, or,

"Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms that we all use, pretending that an uncomfortable thing did not happen." - changingminds.org

"Denial...[is when] the individual recognizes or is conscious of the existence of the truth or fact but consciously refuses to accept it as such." - wikipedia.org

As Lisa Smiley says in her video, it doesn't matter. When a woman becomes pregnant, everyone asks how the baby is - from Day 1. Do you know the baby's sex yet? Is the baby kicking or moving around? What names are you considering for the baby? The baby. The baby. The baby. We use that term because it is a baby from Day 1, the moment of conception.

Pregnant women across the globe read and sing and play music to their baby in the womb. Why? Because inside her womb is a baby who is capable of internalizing knowledge.




I often sense a visceral tension when I am chatting about abortion with someone who is ProChoice. It is almost as if they know it's a baby in the womb, but they don't want to be found out about it. Instead, they direct the discussion to the mother's right to choose, which is a valid topic, but I recently heard a different talk by Lisa Smiley and she put it well. If a mother abuses her child, is that ok? No. If a mother drives down the street and decides to throw the baby out, is that ok? No. If a mother encloses her child in a small space and fills that space with cigarette smoke non-stop, is that ok? No. Then why is it ok for a mother to kill her unborn baby? It's not, especially when you think about it from the ethical and moral perspectives just discussed. 

ProLife is not about taking choices away from pregnant women. It is about giving pregnant women ethical and moral solutions to manage their crises. 




image - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/baby-growth-during-pregnancy-month-health-claps
11/6/16 - Edited 1st paragraph








October 07, 2016

Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary - Why 19?

Today is the 19th Anniversary of my return to the Catholic Church. It was on October 7, the Feast of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary, in 1997. If you remember, please include me in your prayers, especially your Rosaries, on this special day!

So why make such a big deal on this odd 19th anniversary? Because to me, every October 7 is a wonderful celebration of God's work to bring me back into the Fold. I am forever grateful.

You can read my conversion story here.

And other related posts here and here on p.32.








images 
- http://s84.photobucket.com/user/jakyl32/media/365%20Rosaries-%20OCTOBER/107OLRosary7.gif.html
- personal photo
- http://content1.meetmecdna.com/thumb_userimages/square/2013/10/08/15/thm_tUHBHFQnnW_0_0_180_180.jpg 

August 25, 2016

Publicity Events for "Unraveling My Father's Suicide"


        Unraveling My Father's Suicide

PUBLICITY EVENTS 
TO DATE

In an attempt to raise awareness about suicide and her book, author Kathleen Laplante has had the following public engagements. Feel free to suggest others. 


  * Boston's National Public Radio (NPR) News Station WBUR Suicide Series
  - http://www.wbur.org/tags/suicide-crisis-series (scroll down) and
  - http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2015/10/faith-religion-suicide
  
  * Presentation about her book/life and the topic of suicide itself to a live audience at                 Southborough, MA Library   Video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XURGSm_fVHY

* Live TV interview with NH Sen. Kevin Avard on "Gate City Chronicles."
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHDHAPLS5bg 

  * Interview for article with the Community Advocate newspaper
  - http://www.communityadvocate.com/2016/03/23/hudson-authors-unravels-her-fathers-suicide/ 

  * Interview for article with Wicked Local Hudson newspaper
  - http://hudson.wickedlocal.com/article/20160320/NEWS/160329499

  * Enthusiastic Book Review by The Valley Patriot newspaper
  - http://valleypatriot.com/book-review-unraveling-my-fathers-suicide/ 

  * Author showcases in four public venues, including the 2016 New England Author Expo at the Danvers, MA, Yacht Club

  * Interviewed on the TV show, "Be My Guest!" with Jan Lewis.
  - http://patch.com/massachusetts/northborough/an--host-be-my-guest 

  * Interview for article with The Catholic Free Press
  - http://www.catholicfreepress.org/

  * Upcoming Presentation at Hudson, MA Public Library, October 20, 2016, 7pm



image - http://www.hypebot.com/.a/6a00d83451b36c69e201b7c739d23a970b-600wi

August 22, 2016

The Abortion Saga Continues

We all know when we start messing around with truth, things go haywire. Get this

Mother Files Wrongful Birth Lawsuit After Botched Abortion Didn't Kill Her Son

I think she is right. She should win her lawsuit. She didn't get what she was told she would get. That is, her doctor signed up to kill her baby, and that didn't happen. Like any other provider/doctor, the abortion doctor should be held accountable to her/his customer/patient. Hand it over doc.


Also, see this:
Woman Wants $14 Million in Wrongful Birth Lawsuit, She Didn't Get to Abort Baby With Cystic Fibrosis



image - http://www.lifenews.com/2016/08/22/mother-files-wrongful-birth-lawsuit-after-botched-abortion-didnt-kill-her-son/



August 03, 2016

Trappists in Spencer, MA - Brewery Event

Spencer Brewery to Open to the Public for One Day Only

America’s only Trappist brewery will let you tour the space for the first time ever this Saturday, August 6.


Support your local monastic brewery, i.e., the Trappists in Spencer, MA. Try one of their beers, which you can find at package stores. The Ale is very good. Or go to their Open House this Saturday, August 6, 2016, 10a to 4pm.


                           
SPENCER TRAPPIST ALE. / PHOTO BY PAT PIASECKI FOR “TRAPPIST TALE


While you're at it, suggest to a worthy soul that they consider a vocation there and think about becoming a monk. Or, take a retreat yourself.




image - https://c.o0bg.com/rf/image_960w/Boston/2011-2020/2014/01/09/BostonGlobe.com/Business/Images/greenhouse_10monks-1_business.jpg
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/restaurants/blog/2016/08/01/spencer-brewery-public-tours-august-2016/