March 21, 2012

Mystery of the Crucificied Christ

For quite awhile now, I have been praying to God in front of a Crucifix, asking Him to draw me more deeply into the mystery of the crucified Christ.  That's daunting to me.  I immediately swell with fears that all kinds of catclysmic things are going to happen to me and to others.

After two years, no cataclysmic events have unfolded, but those fears still surface.  Thankfully, I have been graced with perseverance, because I keep bringing the prayer to God in an attempt to unite myself more closely with Jesus.  Smaller scale insights have come.  Whether they are directly attributable to this prayer of mine, I cannot tell, but I keep seeking God.  It's comforting and has helped me to feel better about my spirtual life.  I do think I have grown in my connection to Our Lord's Passion.

During Lent, my efforts have more meaning, and this Lent, two sentiments have been deepened in association with my prayer and the crucified Christ.

Jesus falls a third time
The first relates to my not doing so well with keeping up with a couple of my Lenten promises.  (Ouch, it hurts to hear that I have not been keeping up with a promise, never mind that it is a promise to Jesus.) My spiritual director suggested that I start over and do it for the remainder of Lent.  When I realized Jesus did just that when He fell those three times on His way to Calvary, I was re-energized to try again.

Jesus in Gethsamane

The second relates to my cutting back and/or eliminating television and Facebook during Lent.  I am more productive when doing these things, but I am also more lonely.  My friends on Facebook, and the characters in the regularly scheduled TV shows I watch, do provide me some level of companionship, as silly as that may sound.  One day, when I was contemplating my loneliness, I remembered Jesus' loneliness while praying at Gethsemane.  Now I offer it up and my spiritual life has more purpose and meaning.

I hope your Lent is bearing many fruits in the name of the Lord.

In Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,

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