April 04, 2011

Sex Talk Part II [Sex Within Marriage]

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Part I of this series can be found here.
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Copyright (c) 2010 originally published in The Valley Patriot, reprinted with permission. I added the pictures.

So, You Want to Have Sex? Part II
By Kathleen Laplante

So, you want to have sex, but this time you are a married woman.
Good. Sex belongs in marriage.Copyright (c) 2010 originally published in The Valley Patriot, reprinted with permission. I added the pictures.

Isn’t adultery legal in some states? 
It may be legal in some states, but it’s not moral in any of them. It’s a reflection of your inability to control your animal instincts. So, no extramarital affairs, not even in fantasies.

How do you stay true to your husband?
Learn what marriage is really about. For instance, you probably don’t know that chastity is something to be practiced in marriage. People think it’s just for nuns and single women, but married couples must practice chastity too.

What is chastity?
It is the virtue of controlling the indulgence of one’s sexual appetite. It’s not about being prudish. It’s about being prudent, i.e. being wise and judicious in the handling of your sexuality. For women, chastity reflects femininity and courage, which makes sense, since it takes a real lady to tame her sexual desires - and I don’t mean repress them. I mean act on them in moderation with consideration for your husband and children.

So where does pleasure come in?
Let’s clear up a common misunderstanding. Did you know the Catholic Church is an advocate for sexual pleasure between a wife and husband?

No kidding. She teaches that, “sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself…established that…spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit…the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment…At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.” [Catechism of the Catholic Church 2362, i.e. CCC 2362]]

She goes on to say that “the acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.” [CCC 2362]

So when you want to have sex with your husband, ask yourself if it’s for your pleasure or his too. If it’s just for yours, you might as well let a neighbor borrow him, because you are reducing him to an instrument of sexual pleasure. If it’s for both of you, then you won’t be objectifying your husband, and dignity will be the catchword of the day.

Can we go back to noble and honorable, and joy and gratitude mentioned above?
Definitely. One thing we can say is that nobility and honor, joy and gratitude are worth striving for. A couple, however, cannot do that when one or both of them are selfishly seeking pleasure and instant gratification for themselves.

Another impediment to nobility, honor, joy and gratitude is artificial contraception.

Contraception?!
Yes. And I’ll bet you and your husband are using it. There are all kinds of negative consequences from it.

It can’t be that bad?
It is. The Pill’s side effects result in many women struggling with mood swings, weight gain, and irritability. Companies that make birth control pills, the FDA, the World Health Organization and the Mayo Clinic all say the (combined estrogen-progestin) Pill increases a woman’s risk of breast, cervix and liver cancer, i.e. more Pills, more pink ribbons.

The Pill is also known to act as an abortifacient. Instead of preventing pregnancy, it allows conception to occur, but because it also damages the lining of the womb, the fertilized ovum, i.e. the new baby, cannot implant itself and dies. The woman essentially gives herself an abortion.

Contraception goes against natural law.
With a condom, a couple prevents the formation of a baby, which, remember, is a good and natural outcome of sexual intercourse, and puts up a barrier to the couple’s intimate union and bonding. They are supposed to be making love, fully giving themselves to one another, but they have to get their ‘barriers’ in place first (J. E. Smith, 2000). It is unnatural and is like the woman saying, “I love you, I want to give myself to you and I want to receive you – BUT.” “But I don’t want your fertility or your manliness or your sperm.”

Talk about rejection at its most basic level.

With a condom, the unitive aspect is severed from the procreative aspect of the marital act, and the couple is no longer making love. Instead, they are deceiving each other while avoiding and sometimes killing babies.

Other negative consequences include all the ones since artificial/unnatural birth control became rampant: Rises in premarital sex, unwanted babies (no contraception is 100% effective), abortions, out-of-wedlock births and people unprepared for parenthood. With all types of artificial birth control, couples are playing Russian roulette, just playing the odds, not knowing if they will get hit with the one bullet in the gun, so to speak. Many clients at crisis pregnancy centers will vouch that they got hit.

There is no getting around having sex without having to think about being a parent. Artificial/unnatural contraception goes against natural law, and what we know to be true in our hearts.

If no contraception, then what?
Accept responsibility for regulating births by learning things like NaPro Technology (Natural Procreative Technology). NaPro is one method of natural family planning that uses the Creighton Model FertilityCare System. It is a holistic, non-contraceptive method of avoiding becoming pregnant, while being open to new life if it does come along, or oppositely, trying to become pregnant.

These two meanings…of marriage [the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life] cannot be separated without altering the couple's spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.” [CCC 2363] Children are the “supreme gift of marriage” [CCC 2378] and to be open to new life is an inherent responsibility and joy of it.

NaPro Technology Banner
What else?
NaPro Technology monitors and maintains a woman’s reproductive and gynecological health, so there are great side benefits.

Don’t you mean side effects?
No, I mean side benefits. This natural family planning method helps many women who suffer from PMS. It helps many couples overcome infertility problems, or at least deal with them better. And, it improves "S-P-I-C-E", which is the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Communicative and Emotional aspects of a relationship.

What about your husband?
This is all true for men too.
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Kathleen Laplante is a freelance writer, editor and baker. She welcomes your comments and suggestions at klaplante2@yahoo.com

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images - http://www.eurweb.com/?attachment_id=74926
http://www.creightonmodel.com/intercourse.htm
http://dontbuytheabortionlie.blogspot.com/2011/02/contraception-is-not-solution.html
http://www.naprotechnology.com/index.html
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